Stu In Progress

We are all at various stages of development.

stumathews
http://www.stuartmathews.com

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Let me sleep in your heart

By stumathews on Sunday, December 8, 2013

When the light goes out, and it will or has ,there will be no heaven or hell. Just a dark nothingness for me. I will be gone. But don’t give up. I didn’t. I went fighting and shouting, angry and determined with fiery will and desire, love and trust. It is what it is. But …

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Impressions

Life love lost

By stumathews on Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Life is a hollow empty cocoon, that we all stare from. Cool night, high up. My bare feet, naked body in the dark, the wind on my skin, on the edge, looking down, thinking about my ways? My Itsy-bitsy cute feet: listen to me. Keep listening to me. If I want to dance here, free …

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Impressions

Marriage and children

By stumathews on Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Sometimes I wonder if getting married and having children is the result of running out of things to do in life.

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Happiness is a sleeping dog

By stumathews on Sunday, August 4, 2013

I like to think happiness is an immortal sleeping dog – I know it’s there, and while it sleeps, it doesn’t move or make a sound. It’s a dormant happiness. For however long it sleeps, my only happiness is this constant, of knowing, that the dog is always there. I find solace in thinking that …

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where to go now?

By stumathews on Saturday, June 22, 2013

Elbows on glass tables, faces in hands, shoulders heavy. Everything reminds me. Where to go to now?

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Spanish girl

By stumathews on Saturday, June 22, 2013

Spanish girl, oh Spanish girl. Your dark brown eyes look cautiously into my mind trying to find somewhere in there. I try to say to myself, that there is no way in, don’t look at yourself in the mirror too often, its a one way street going somewhere I  can’t go. I’m half of what you …

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Impressions

Detached and dismal

By stumathews on Friday, February 8, 2013

I nearly quit my job today. I may still. Sometimes it’s just not what you thought it was. It’s becomes different, detached and dismal. My boss said that I should take a holiday, it’s stress. It might be. He even said that maybe I’m depressed – that’s stupid, I’m not depressed, I’m bored and I’m …

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impressionable thoughts

Feeling quiet

By stumathews on Sunday, February 3, 2013

I feel quite today. It started yesterday afternoon and as it did, I felt bad. being quite feels like the best way to deal with it. It’s almost like knowing that it will help. I have no problem with being alone and I’m not lonely – they are different. Sometimes I don’t like some people …

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impressionable thoughts

a wound of a soul

By stumathews on Sunday, February 3, 2013

a wound of soul is fundamental.. it pains because its true and free, honest and essential. its with you when you are alone. its a disease that no cover can heal. its inherent, unchanging. No stronger weapon can match it, no man can harness it – it is a rearing stallion, the grains that fall …

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Impressions

Is there more to my life?

By stumathews on Wednesday, January 16, 2013

You know, the more I think about it the more I realize that everyones perfect life is different. For a long time, I think the perception for me was that life was being able to dance, or laugh or get married or to be that uncle that everyone likes or that person who is so …

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