I speak to you to tell you the lies in my life. The truth behind the changes within me. I come to you so that I can feel free, knowing you’ll hear me.
I sometimes decay. That which made me uncertain and boyish, that which defined me, yields now to who I am now. Are these new words that a write in my book like those that were once before?
I am harder now, scarred and less hurt, less insignificant more defined and more prepared.
I’m still cautious.
Always aware of those that still try to define me, those that held me like clay in the palm of their hands and pressed forms from between their fingers.
I learn from the depths of the shadows and height of the sunshine on my face.
Solitude is bliss. Loneliness is nothing if you don’t yearn for anybody anymore.
Loneliness is not my enemy, it’s my companion – a constant remainder that all i have is me and that I will die someday and it reminds me I’m not alone in my mind. It tells me that i can do anything, by myself, it tells me to be brave and to be bold. Loneliness makes me fearless…yet fearful of the future.
I am changed and I am not changed, I am older. I am responsible. I am skilled surgeon in unfairness, yet fear much still. I love no one, and no one loves me. I own nothing and loose nothing.
And I tell you. I am happy.