I don’t want to.
I don’t want them to feel that they can draw me out when they choose to.
A trapped mind fights to find solace in its being, weakened at birth by those around it, it forgets who it is, what it is and why it is and it feels happy at lest to be. It knows its weaknesses and is afraid. It worries that those around it will again force, hurt it and make it concede and it will remember how useless it is.
Yet, time passes and it knows so suddenly that it belongs to a gigantic Dragon – it decides veraciously not to be slave to those that did before feed on its insecurities. It vows with deadly reclection never to be victim to those that did take full advantage of its weaked state. It will rise, never again to yield to those that try to be its master – for its alive now with all consciousness and through it races flashes to the past that infuriate it, that which those before it had so cowardly provoked it with. Like that of a gang that harasses a baby rhino until it thinks itself a mere lamb, fears so intensely when the lamb is angry for the first time and then knows what it is.
It is me and i am it and it chooses when it suits it, now with unyielding distinction. It will not be summoned, nor will it give into the familiarity of despair.
Those that wake from a sudden jolt at the crack of dawn, will know It have woken.
Yet, How difficult it is to break a habit. At its newness, part of it so wants to yield, to remember the familiarity of deception. Part of it fights the apprehension yet quietly yields to indecision. Too long has it been victim to that which it did allow onto itself. It sometimes want to feel the pain of disrespect for its so familiar and then, there is that inside it that has awoken form slumber that which wants to pick itself up and fight a furious battle with all that which tries again to restrict it, its character and its self belief.
That part refuses to become disrespected and pushe to move forward, aggressively, diligently and as true to itself as it can be. It looks boldly across the valley of a thousand lies – for fortune favours the brave, and the brave do not yield.