Recently I’ve lost most of my thoughts that I manage to have. I can’t seem to hold on to any.
its as though they are invisible, transparent and fading as they pass right through my mind. Non stop it seems.
I’ve lost my will to speak, to express – to invoke…
Still feel like a back seat driver…
I loose touch with what these thoughts mean and i fail to acknowledge them. My life revolves around my thoughts, by exploration into the source of all my thoughts – yet this expedition seems to be static, on hold – delayed.
i still think that i need a crack, a thundering wake up call to wake me from this oblivious state I’m in. Only I hope it has nothing to do with my family – only some sort of self realization, as this is the strongest form of anything.
I’m failing to interpret these thoughts – their signs and warnings seem to be encoded in a wrap that I cannot undo. Why this state of perpetual flux? Heaven knows and it is not sharing.
Lost past thoughts feel like the missing words of a song – impossible to interpret what has already been, and difficult to know what lies ahead and what it all means at the end.
At least when i was paying attention, I could make them mean something to me…
At the end of the day, I feel silenced by something, muted in interpretation – lost by meaning