When i feel the surface level cracks in my heart, I brush my hand over these rough edges and I feel the surface echo through my skin and at these echos attach my consious, my soul – they drive my mind crazy like a rabid dog, they gnaw at my nerves and needle pinch my internal spine – when I feel.
Then I awake from this deathly slumber, to move forthwith towards the gates of my heart and like a giant goliath I cease this foolhearty invasion on my thoughts. The gates close as I shut them deep – Today only a few died, to these I will attend as I recover this most deceptive attack…
I feel, today yet I hurt, but I hurt to hurt, so I heal and I face the next onslaught, this time I am ready… When I feel like this, I am ready now.
I will guard the gates with the vigilance of a soul deep soldier, smelling of acute revenge.
When I feel, I feel nothing anymore. I am blunt, I have rubbed the paint of these walls, they are left in disarrays of mess and confusion.
Yet – still I wait by these gates, hoping – distraught between revenge and loneliness, only, I cannot forget these scars I gaze apon here while I wait, on my body, gnashes and memoirs – I am torn in mind, like a cloth two dogs tear, fighting among themselves…