All in all, i think that my experiances with people that i’ve come to know are incredible – i think i am a little abstract in my meanings – a draw alot from them, from things that happen.I seem to hold a very emotional approach to many things – i am very confused in life because their is so much of it out – and how can we know what we want – I think it exciting to feel this way – nothing is as concrete as we’d perhaps like it to be.This is nice ‘cos then you can define your own standards and goals in life.It is pretty cool then.My confessions by email have changed me in more ways than i could ever imagine.Their very emotional and seemingly obscure thoughts and concepts were generated from places that are very new to me.I remain very appreciative that they were nurtured by the recipient – and if you’re reading this “thank you”.I world if full of many things that are too big to grasp in their entirety and sometimes seems like you are a ant at the foot of a sign that says “causion” but you can’t see it because you are so so close to it – It is now that the concepts of personal thought come into the equation.When we define our own boundries – then standards are set according to our personalities.This is what i endure to accomplish.Its difficult though.Confessiosn by email meant a whole lot to me – i can see their uses and meanings in my everyday life.I have come to realise that not everyone feels the same about things that i feel.This is inevitable but usefull.It’s pretty amazing how alot of my inndr thoughs seem poetic – but this is due to thier emotional connotations , and thats what its all about – exploring your self concious – discoverying ones personality and in this way, describing oneself or finding oneself – you are being true to not only yourself but to be people that are at the other end that have to read this stuff. I have learnted amoug other things not to impose my thoughts apon people like the recipient of my confessions by email – you think of this as a given, but it only means somthing when you come to realise it and then define it.Same with cliche’s . you know that they are normally right, but until you recite them out of your mind – then you know that they have a real meaning, so imposing things on others is a clich’e but i identified it in my situations that i exparienced – so they are of more meaning than just that they are cliches – they are personally redeined cliches’.It is important for me to keep people and things that are instrumental in my development with me, or if not possible, close to me or for me not to forget them.Fortunatly most of the people that are part of my redefinition process are still around and i communicate every once in a while- sometimes i feel that me expariances with them sometimes – estranges me from them.My needs are not the same as most people – so most of the time responces are undefined – be they still responces none the less – this sounds wiered – its not.So this closes a chapter in my emotinoal development – but it wont go unforgotten.That i reserve as a right to maintain.I can’t find the lyrics of my recording i sent to her – I’ll see if i can get her to mail me them back, i typed them out though and sent them with the CD i sent her…mmmm Supopse i should ask her to send my emails i sent to her back to me – That’s almost like sacralidge, but lemme give it a try…The recordings are themselves pices from my mind and emotions..I’ll try to get them – maybe i have them lying around.Another thing is that i dont want to change things that have been left in a certain way – for example with the recipient of my confessiosn by email – i think the less i speak with her the better she will carry on( with her life and emotional development – because it is a two way thing ).We are all at some stage of the same development.