I’m in a constant state of realisation, every waking moment – i know that I’m loosing. I feel your grip on my hand weaken, forever weakening and I let you slip away into the world, free from me. As I think about my day, it feels empty, without the thoughts of you, knowing that I will not let you materialise into anything. Because you cannot and you will not. I cannot bear to see you without me, because I see how good we can be for each other but I’ll let you go, to protect you, to make you stronger, to make you realise that you are worth everything you want. Your religion dictates your every move, how you feel – what you need and not what you want. I think its stupid but I see why – you’re in so deep and am I right in saying that its up to you to get yourself out. Its your personal hell. It’s my personal hell. its our personal hell. Maybe if anything, my time with you will help you through yours.
Its like running backwards, you’re bound to fall over at some point and I just hope when you do, you get up and you start running towards me, probably never get to me but you’ll be running in the right direction!
I’m loosing you, I’ve lost you – I’ve given you back to God, to confuse you.