sometimes I rearrange my mind and find time this one last time, to break these/my rules before me and i speak of my inconsistent resistance.
Sometimes I draw pictures in my mind for instance – depressing impressions of the past – just to remember where I have been and who I’m pretending to be.
Everything seems to be in cahoots with everything else and in reality i don’t know who everyone is.
I swear only to move around in this heavy consistency, this mess of confusion i find myself in. Continual converse with the gods seems to help.
Maybe one day, if i shout hard enough, they’ll see me down here.
its not that i want to say or to be listened to, only to hear what i say, and associate this man with these things that he says and try to understand where they cone from – i’m so dissociated.
Sometimes i cannot, for i will not due to deep diamonds in my soul that cut through the reflections within and distort my medium.
the reflections aren’t as pure as they used to be before nor are they as useful as they were yesterday.
my mess is with me when i wake, i made it with soul and emotion, its my eternal mess of misrepresentation.