I dont know anything about me, I cant figure it out , whatever ‘it’ is. Fuck! I’m complex.
Sometimes I think that I’m broken from sometime along the line – nice excuse to say that its not my fault that I’m this fucked up.
I wonder if their is anyone out there that is happy to deal with ‘fucked up’ . Why do I say I’m this way? Because I don’t think I’m finding my bearings in life so easy as I thought. Or maybe its like I always put it as, “a stage in life” – this stage I suppose would be the one where I’m lost and need some guidance, only to find that something fucking obscure like, just going through this helps me find myself, yeah like what -the-fuck ever.
This leads me to my next confucked-up thing, who are my friends? Why don’t I care that much about things, why don’t i feel, why don’t I mind, why the fuck? I don’t think its psychological bullshit or anything – I just don’t want the complexity of reposnsibility maybe.
thats noble.
then the next problem is figuring out or describing what or how i feel. when i go to the shopping centre, I can’t decide what i want and when I overcome this, I can’t even which one I want ’till the extend that I may stand there for 5 minutes ‘stunned’ into trying to understand why one is the one I want because of…of..of I don’t know.
I don’t care enough, sometimes its because I dont want to then when I want to – I fucking confuse myself ’till distraction.
Suppose the answer is simple.
choose.