I found this is my drafts folder, no address, i wrote it way back, sometime.
I wrote this for you, its for you – i haven’t written for anyone else – it owes its being to you.
I’m writing this letter to somehow figure out why, you are who you are, i suppose you have diffirent needs
that i do – which makes sense, though i dont understand why your measure of things is so diffirent to mine.
How can someone feel more than another?
Its true, i think that you don’t read deep into things – you concentrate on the most pratical effect that matches closer to your own need.Im not saying you are shallow,though sometimes it seems this way – i suppose it’s just the things i do that doesn’t mean much to you.
I guess its hurts to knowthis, and its the realisation of this that is more potent than the highest mountain.
I’m loosing you in mind heart – not becasue you’ve left, but because i’m seeing reason to let go to whats left.
Doesn’t really matter much, how i feel, i suppose – thats me problem – it doesn’t mean much to you – perhaps it might have before – before I watched me turn you away – its pretty fucking funny this – me turning you down – though its not something that i regret – though what i do is the unrealistic notion that perhaps somehow i could still be on the same platform without making commitments – thats fucking funny.
So I’m slowly receading…like the ebb of the sea, im receading becuase i know it’s inevitable that back i must go.
Its beautifull that i can feel so emotionally about these things – its absolutly facinating that i have traveled these grounds and now i have seen how far i can travel , im going back again till perhaps i need to pack my bags and travel again – even though it wont be with you – it will be with someone like you – and i will want to be with that person – and i’ll feel better than i feel about you right now – anyway.
I remember you saying how, we need to test the water – but im not one for testing – im one for feeling the water and getting in – this is why im so conservative ‘cos this approache is rather dangersous – becasue you get in and either you’re pretty damn sure that you made the right choice you’re in the water.
Its fucked up – i know, thats how i like it – as it comes.
Stu