You just wanted to be seen, to be felt and to be measured.
You wanted to be, but in being so you were being the perfect statistic.
But that doesn’t matter to you – you are the peg that fits into the place that holds society together.
though i wish you weren’t – i wish so much of you and now i have come to see how that which i want
i cannot have, – i can’t deny you the attributes of comfort and normality.
So deep this seems – but its the depth of passion and intensity of intention that separates the ones that love from the heart from those that love from the easy confines of normality.
You’re so normal – i hate it, you are not special, you don’t make jokes that make you laugh, you make jokes that you think other will laugh.You won’t stand up and be counted, you wont feel embarrased for the sake of it, for perhaps any cause – you care more of others that they care for you – you are the artifical representation that society says is normal.
i hurt with a pain when i say these things, because i wish apon the will of god that it wasn’t so.
Why are you not special ?
Why are you not that unique piece if mind , that i wish to find.
Why the fuck not!
Why are you so fucking like everyone , and not like me, why!!!!
We are just not meant, not meant.
Why are you not fucking special – i wish you were.
I suppose you’ll never be her, she is special, the special that parts water when she walks, the special that birds see when shes around and sing beautiful songs as to tell her that wich i already know.We are so perfect, though you just can’t measure up to her.
The special that lights up her eyes as she watches me while i laugh and while i speak , i see her eyes when i look into the mirror, her eyes are like mine, shes beautiful and i love her mind and her ways and how she smiles at me when she catches me staring at her, i love when she asked me question about the world, asked my why, and then she’d spontaneously burst into laugher and hold me and say how i complete her and that i am her perfact perfect and that i cannot leave for if i did, she’d die – i felt her every word apon my heart.
Im sorry, really im fucking sorry – I AM So Fucking Sorry for that.
I wish you weren’t though, so fucking normal.
You can’t change the world, you’re too scared – You have’t the will.
I love you for many things, and i hate for more.
Though i did see you’re soul for a while and i saw, that which i always wanted to see, though you couldn’t see it for yourself and wouldn’t embrace it – you’re not special .
Oh no, fucking no, im hurting , flush pain, but you are this and i hurt because of it.
pain, oh flush pain.
I love only one thing, self confidence and self determination – you perhaps have the former, not my latter.
So fucking normal – the perfect statistic.