you judge me ?

You judge me , you watch me and you compare me.
Why ?
Im not sure, but its not what i thought would happen – its not that you judge me badly or anything -it how you judge me – you judge me when you say you don’t judge people – but you do, you are actually a hipocrite.Though i wish you weren’t – becuase i shouldn’t be judged by you , becasue i feel that you should know me better – or to have tried to know me better – but it has become pretty obvious to me that that commitment or effort was never made – i needn’t do anything, it was all up to you.
I really wish you hadn’t – but you did. How the fuck can i change it? i can’t.
I don’t think i want to – because , what i really thought was that you could handle me, and figure me out – but you couldn’t.That’s okay – ive seen it before – but this time i don’t understand how i could get you so wrong – i thought that you were like a revolution to me – i saw clearly into you, and thought really you were the one that would be able to.
what does this matter ?
Firstly – i was wrong.And now simply i need to reverse the effects of my wrongness…??? hummm

I connected to you , and you connected to me and somehow we are still connected but i wish we weren’t, and not the way we were – we are disconnected in the comon sense, in like theory but at the end of the day, when the afternoon is quiet – i think of you -that’s the connection we have – i know something is real when you still feel after when you shouldn’t – i shouldn’t feel anything for you now…but i do.
And now im taking the measures to practice to feel nothing – though it takes a bit of elbow grease…

But am a so wrong in thinking that you were that which i thought you were?
I mean clearly you somehow, judged me and that perhaps goes to show how wrong i was… maybe i was wrong from the beginning…
Was i so wrong?