I realised when i was writing this how my style of writing had changed from the usual “throw it all out there” approach.I found myself actaully selecting words to use, deciding which ones were better and stuff.Anyway she liked the disk – i hate it now, sometimes i feel that gave far too much of myself out there at the mercy of her perspectives that i find are not mine – funny 🙂
the nice thing though is that i developed – but i did have repocussions though that i didn’t think i could experianced again.
oh no.
when you go quiet, i think the worst.
I’m so nervous i could scream ……aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh ……… thats a little better, i little.
so,so,soooooooooo what you think ? huh? huh? i feel like im 9 again!
okay i know its pretty suky, but c’mon it beats typing.
im so sick of hearing my myself now – i think i must have played that disc to myself about 24568587542345677654345678876 times ( give and take a couple…)
wondering, no, not wondering, convincing myself that, no ,its not too much, no, its not too little . you see that kind of thing is so difficult to make – you can’t just grab your guitar and bash at it( i wanted to though – wanted to expariment with this new beeeeautifual gentle strum i found just that day- i was supposed to include it – but i forgot it, can you flippin belive me, me nether.) – this aint no rock concert , its a fine line between too much – you can’t hear squat and just a gentle tingle here and their , so that it distracts the listening so that they dont dig too deep into the words – i must say that after about 863462353423 or so times, i thought that it sounded almost sad, and lonley and all mushy – then i was like – na thats just the music and thats just melody thats acting up here, so then i was like, hey just read the words, forget the sound and the humm, then you read and then you’re like – na this sounds wierd – the music doesn’t suit the words – its almost deaf by hearin -you listen to the words and they dont fit the page which they appear on – like oil in h20 – it just hold it there.
i rekoned in the end that its just enough to write a letter and im flippin gat vol now if i must re-paint my finger tips cos it dont fit -im lazy in my mind – always was will bee and neva gonna change ! viva la’ restance!!
its simply by i think it is just enough to carry a nice, rounded okay oval message.
in the end, i dicided – relax ! its just a letter – you’re not writing an exam – it happens.
i feel like a little child waiting for to go the the circus, as soon as my dads gets home, or like the chrismas eve, at night waiting to see santa and swearing that tonight, you gonna catch santa in the act.
i hope you liked it – i hate it now.
So crit me huge – okay not huge -take it easy, im fragile at the moment.
k, im going to wait for your crit – excited !
take it easy -> im gonaa go have a double martini on the rocks.hhaaha
Stu