I’ve never been afraid of loneliness, ever since I can remember – maybe it’s because I was a single child? Even relationships for me really weren’t essential to my state if mind – sure you go through a phase of associating yourself with girlfriends etc but at the end of the day, I never felt …
I’m happy. As I walk through these poorly light and eerie forest walk ways. I am drunk on life and cannot feel my heart anymore, it doesn’t beat and it dies without letting me know. How I just accept the cold, the dirt and the dark. how I wonder careless. I’m happy.
Someone visited me from my family and stayed with me for a while. It’s amazing how some people can remind you of what you don’t want. Family sometimes is good, most times is good(as far as I’m told) but really family are just people, some who remind me how strange I am, and how much …
sometimes I wonder that the animals in the wild get eaten because they stop and admire the beauty of nature and their sorroundings – probably not but if I was an animal, that’s how I’d probably go.
tis true… I live a quite life of desperation. a life, quite. of underlying yearning, of desperation.
I will let myself have the chance. I will let myself succeed or fail, whichever it may be. And I will not fall into the hole of sadness when I fail, nor lie in the clouds when I succeed. Yet whichever comes my way in life, it will be at my own hand that they …
and as I let go the things that once were Im left with myself. it’s these days that you ask the question, is that enough?
in the end it seems you only have yourself. that being your thoughts, feelings mind and soul and this vessel that is your body. strip the fancy watch, the waterproof shoes and computer and all is left is you. make your life you.
if i die. let it be with these thoughts in my mind. for they are the only things that are truly mine. let it be with these things that i know. how my memories flow. if i die. I’m thankful.
I’ve never been on the normal side of the family. the things i do and dont do tattoo me into the sidelines of the guild. The way i walk and the way i speak, the way i say things and how i feel all make me someone else. i am a apple in a whole …